Scary In the City- The morning after the night before

After finding myself in a less than glamourous situation, I've taken it upon myself to compile some rules about dating in London/overnight stays. What can I say, I did it all for you dear reader...

I will illustrate my point by telling you the tale of a stupid fashion journalist who woke up after two bottles of Pinot Grigio and a stomach full of nothing. The story starts with an optimistic young girl going for a casual drink in Islington, and ends with her running for the tube whilst trying to keep down a Burger King breakfast the nexy day. Oh, after nearly being killed by a lunatic cyclist (what's with the need for speed here?)

So okay, sometimes when you know a date well enough its acceptable/convenient to stay the night instead of getting the last train. This is typically an un-planned event when the date over-runs, turning into more drinks/dinner/ the next bar etc. What I'm saying is, even if you've not plannned to stay the night there are some fail-safe things you can carry in your bag which will prove invaluable if this does occur. You should carry :

• Mini deodrant
• A toothbrush
• Clean underwear
• Mini hairbrush

(And the essential make-up, but you knew that already)

But oh no! it's 2:30 - the tube is closed and you've just realised your date is totally annoying! perhaps he's suggested you go dutch on a bill because he's cheap a feminist. IT'S OKAY. Here is my biggest secret, so guard it well. Put an alarm on your phone. This will make it all the more believable when you jump up the next morning saying things like 'Oh! is that the time, I better get ready BYE'
A word of caution (this is a cautionary tale) Do not set the alarm for too early. Realistically, when you wake-up hungover at 7am on a cold wintry morning, you are not going to get up. When you then awake again at 12, it will make your 'presentation' seem, quite simply, a lie. Come on girls, it's just unfeasible.

So, I might not have looked fantastic with my mascara smudged around my puffy eyes the next morning, but I didn't care. I was a feisty woman of the new millenium, and defending it as Marc Jacobs grunge anyway.
Luckily I was able to make a quick get away as I downloaded 'Tube Map' on my blackberry- yeah yeah maybe it won't seem 'cool' or 'trendy' to your London friends, but an essential to natives such as myself.

Hair Karma

You know how it is (although I’m sure you'll pretend you dont). You've met a nice - or maybe just normal enough boy, and everything is going well. His behaviour is nothing but pleasing, and has even progressed to the 'Do you mind if I leave this here?' stage (that’s a classic nester right there)
Then, BAM. There's a shift. You can't see it, you can't talk about it, but you know it's there. All of a sudden his things have disappeared, and after not seeing him for a week he’s saying things such as ‘I’ll pop over at some point’ (what does that even MEAN?)

Things only get worse from here. You innocently have a browse on his Facebook page only to be assaulted with pictures of him with a mystery bint in tow.
Now, there are two ways to deal with this new information. One is to make yourself a cup of tea, allow some gentle weeping, and feel comforted by the knowledge that you’re better off without him.
The second is to break down into hysterical wails for at least two hours before throwing perfectly innocent objects such as shoes or Bonsai trees.  
Yeah, ok I went for the latter- but am by NO means dramatic, just slightly Latin of temperament.

But don’t give in all together! If you really look back at the relationship I’m sure it wasn’t that great anyway. And I did look back. I looked back and examined those Facebook pictures with a precision I’m not entirely sure is normal. And do you know what I saw? He’d had a haircut. And you know what? It was really weird.
What’s more, I realised that what I was most insulted by as a fashion journalist (and as a WOMAN) was his outfit. I’m not going to pretend I understand the neckline of that jumper, and definitely won’t defend that colour scheme.